Friday was indeed a day of reckoning. We were at a talk when there were these hushed whispers all over the room…five bombings in Bangalore…no no its seven…Madivala for sure. Double Road? No may be Richmond Road…and through it all we were all the perfect participants at the lecture, laughing when we should and clapping when we should. Is it because we thought, wait, this is Bangalore, Really? Bombings? May be they were rumours…Well as the country learnt that they were indeed bombings in Bangalore.
Last night watching a debate between Renuka Chaudhuri and Rajeev XXX (the spokesperson for BJP)…Huge discussion on bombings of course. Of course they were really upset…BJP this and Congress that, they argued. Really, who cares a fuck if it’s a political party led bombing….the final result is that 50 people lost their lives (of course they were compensated…isn’t their life worth atleast Rs 5 lakhs) and lots were physically injured. (their injuries were worth Rs50,000) I do not use the word physically injured lightly here. The number of people injured mentally were billions. These bombings did exactly what they were meant to- create insecurity in the minds of the common man.
What happened after 9/11? The entire country united against the terrorists. I didn’t hear what the Republicans did and what the Dems didn’t do. Rudy was a Republican and what he did for NY was in no way connected to Republicans. What we went through in San Fran, uniting against the threats on the Golden Gate Bridge, the assurances we received from all that we are going to be ok. We can go on having faith in our police, in our politicians, in our teachers and preachers …this was what kept the US alive…fighting against terrorism. When is that going to happen here? Who is crediting the bomb squads who are risking their lives to unwire live bombs? Who is thinking of their lives? Is anyone saying thank you? No. All, we are having is two politicians on National TV calling each other names, behaving like children setting in minds of the viewers a further lack of security.
I am definitely confused about my future. On one hand, I want to do all the things I always wanted to do. Isnt life so unpredictable? Who knows when I might die? I deserve to be happy. I need to quit work and follow my passions. On the other hand, can I do so? After all if I can die so can Sudarshan, right? What about Sujay? Should I quit my work so that I can spend my time being a great mom. After all, with life being so unpredictable, shouldn’t I spend my time with Suj. And what about more children? Should I even bother? What if I die? Will Sudarshan be able to look after two children on his own. What if he dies? Will I be able to cope with two children on my own? See, all these question…they never occurred to me. I was happy. Not worrying about things like life, death, insurance but now all my decisions and big ones especially seem to be tainted with the negativity that has arisen due to the bombings. If I can be dealing with these kind of questions, I am sure atleast half the country is thinking of the same. Obviously the terrorists have won, haven’t they? They have managed to mentally injure billions of people.
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