Friday was indeed a day of reckoning. We were at a talk when there were these hushed whispers all over the room…five bombings in Bangalore…no no its seven…Madivala for sure. Double Road? No may be Richmond Road…and through it all we were all the perfect participants at the lecture, laughing when we should and clapping when we should. Is it because we thought, wait, this is Bangalore, Really? Bombings? May be they were rumours…Well as the country learnt that they were indeed bombings in Bangalore.
Last night watching a debate between Renuka Chaudhuri and Rajeev XXX (the spokesperson for BJP)…Huge discussion on bombings of course. Of course they were really upset…BJP this and Congress that, they argued. Really, who cares a fuck if it’s a political party led bombing….the final result is that 50 people lost their lives (of course they were compensated…isn’t their life worth atleast Rs 5 lakhs) and lots were physically injured. (their injuries were worth Rs50,000) I do not use the word physically injured lightly here. The number of people injured mentally were billions. These bombings did exactly what they were meant to- create insecurity in the minds of the common man.
What happened after 9/11? The entire country united against the terrorists. I didn’t hear what the Republicans did and what the Dems didn’t do. Rudy was a Republican and what he did for NY was in no way connected to Republicans. What we went through in San Fran, uniting against the threats on the Golden Gate Bridge, the assurances we received from all that we are going to be ok. We can go on having faith in our police, in our politicians, in our teachers and preachers …this was what kept the US alive…fighting against terrorism. When is that going to happen here? Who is crediting the bomb squads who are risking their lives to unwire live bombs? Who is thinking of their lives? Is anyone saying thank you? No. All, we are having is two politicians on National TV calling each other names, behaving like children setting in minds of the viewers a further lack of security.
I am definitely confused about my future. On one hand, I want to do all the things I always wanted to do. Isnt life so unpredictable? Who knows when I might die? I deserve to be happy. I need to quit work and follow my passions. On the other hand, can I do so? After all if I can die so can Sudarshan, right? What about Sujay? Should I quit my work so that I can spend my time being a great mom. After all, with life being so unpredictable, shouldn’t I spend my time with Suj. And what about more children? Should I even bother? What if I die? Will Sudarshan be able to look after two children on his own. What if he dies? Will I be able to cope with two children on my own? See, all these question…they never occurred to me. I was happy. Not worrying about things like life, death, insurance but now all my decisions and big ones especially seem to be tainted with the negativity that has arisen due to the bombings. If I can be dealing with these kind of questions, I am sure atleast half the country is thinking of the same. Obviously the terrorists have won, haven’t they? They have managed to mentally injure billions of people.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
First ever Hampi Heritage Run
Sam and Sabine have relatives in Hampi area. They visit it often and on one of their visits decided 
that it would be fun if we could have a “Cultural Run” there. A few of us thought that was a great idea and Sabine started working on it. And Sabine as only Sabine can do had it all mapped out. Tickets were booked, hotel rooms were reserved and all other planning matters were underway.
Sudarshan’s uncles and his grand dad live in Hospet. We have been meaning to visit them for a while and saw this as an opportunity to do some great running as well as meet family. We were really excited. I was down with a cold on Thursday and Sudarshna was slightly pissed that I hadn’t taken any medicine. After exchanging a few words, to put it mildly, we decided to cancel. Well, egos clashed as they always clash in our house and finally I swallowed a Sinarest and dozed off. Next day I called in sick. Look, if nothing else I try to keep my priorities in order. Should I go to work or rest at home so that I can be fit as a fiddle and be in Hampi over the weekend? It was a no brainer. I called in sick.
Come Friday night, we were all packed. Sujay was of course coming with us. He was all excited. We picked up Leona and got ourselves to the train station. Reena was there as were Sindhu, Athraya, Anjana, Anjana’s mom and Avni (Anjana’s eighteen month old). Amit and his wife were meeting us in Yeshwantpur. Manoj was coming on his silver bullet and Shantanu and Prateek were driving. Sam and Sabine were already in Hampi.
The train ride was a blast. I always liked Reena but I dare say that I think we really forged a friendship that evening. Athraya, Reena and myself were awake till after midnight just laughing and joking about things. I saw a very different side of Athraya that evening as well. Finally we went to sleep because we were so afraid that thia guy who was sleeping on the top berth might yell at us.
Next morning we arrived in Hami at about 7:30. Sam and Sabine were there with two seven seater autos. Sudarshan’s cousin wa there too to pick us up. All went to the hotel in the autos which looked like a lot of fun actually and we went off to Sudarshan’s uncle’s house…
That evening we met at the Power Canal for a power canal run. That was super cool. I didn’t really run it as I was tired (read lazy) and happily walked the entire loop with Reena. Th
at was nice actually. One thing that I will treasure is that that I think this was a nice beginning to a nice friendship with Reena. She is cool. I was a little apprehensive about Suj. But Sam’s cousin had a bike and that of course was the most super cool thing that could have happened. Suj loved it. He was on the bike the whole time. He was honking and being totally noisy and loving it.
The next morning was our first ever Hampi Cultural Run. It was great. Just looking at all the temples, running by them etc. No better way to see Hampi. And again, thanks to Sam’s cousins, Suj was fully occupied on the bikes and Sudarshan and I could have a great run/walk/sight seeing.
All in all, it was a great experience where old friendships were strengthened and new ones were created. It was a great experience and I would love to do it again.
that it would be fun if we could have a “Cultural Run” there. A few of us thought that was a great idea and Sabine started working on it. And Sabine as only Sabine can do had it all mapped out. Tickets were booked, hotel rooms were reserved and all other planning matters were underway.Sudarshan’s uncles and his grand dad live in Hospet. We have been meaning to visit them for a while and saw this as an opportunity to do some great running as well as meet family. We were really excited. I was down with a cold on Thursday and Sudarshna was slightly pissed that I hadn’t taken any medicine. After exchanging a few words, to put it mildly, we decided to cancel. Well, egos clashed as they always clash in our house and finally I swallowed a Sinarest and dozed off. Next day I called in sick. Look, if nothing else I try to keep my priorities in order. Should I go to work or rest at home so that I can be fit as a fiddle and be in Hampi over the weekend? It was a no brainer. I called in sick.
Come Friday night, we were all packed. Sujay was of course coming with us. He was all excited. We picked up Leona and got ourselves to the train station. Reena was there as were Sindhu, Athraya, Anjana, Anjana’s mom and Avni (Anjana’s eighteen month old). Amit and his wife were meeting us in Yeshwantpur. Manoj was coming on his silver bullet and Shantanu and Prateek were driving. Sam and Sabine were already in Hampi.
The train ride was a blast. I always liked Reena but I dare say that I think we really forged a friendship that evening. Athraya, Reena and myself were awake till after midnight just laughing and joking about things. I saw a very different side of Athraya that evening as well. Finally we went to sleep because we were so afraid that thia guy who was sleeping on the top berth might yell at us.
Next morning we arrived in Hami at about 7:30. Sam and Sabine were there with two seven seater autos. Sudarshan’s cousin wa there too to pick us up. All went to the hotel in the autos which looked like a lot of fun actually and we went off to Sudarshan’s uncle’s house…
That evening we met at the Power Canal for a power canal run. That was super cool. I didn’t really run it as I was tired (read lazy) and happily walked the entire loop with Reena. Th
at was nice actually. One thing that I will treasure is that that I think this was a nice beginning to a nice friendship with Reena. She is cool. I was a little apprehensive about Suj. But Sam’s cousin had a bike and that of course was the most super cool thing that could have happened. Suj loved it. He was on the bike the whole time. He was honking and being totally noisy and loving it.The next morning was our first ever Hampi Cultural Run. It was great. Just looking at all the temples, running by them etc. No better way to see Hampi. And again, thanks to Sam’s cousins, Suj was fully occupied on the bikes and Sudarshan and I could have a great run/walk/sight seeing.
All in all, it was a great experience where old friendships were strengthened and new ones were created. It was a great experience and I would love to do it again. Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Another Mommy Moment
I am having a few mommy moments lately. Yesterday was a very strong mommy moment.
I am not sure if I consider myself ambitious. I know I like to be employed. Not sure why. Sorry to digress but I have always wondered....what is it about being employed. Do I love to work? Not sure. Do I love my job? Not sure. What does being employed mean to me? Is it a self empowerment? The power of earning money? I am not sure. I have never been deprived and if I stop working I dont think I will be deprived. Is it self confidence? Is it a snob appeal? I keep thinking on and off if I want to work. I am never sure. Many a times, I get tempted to call it quits. But I never do. I never know why. May be I need to be older, wiser, mature to actually analyse my feelings, sort out what being employed means to me and then make a decision. May be its only the case of grass being greener on the other side...
Which brings me back to my most recent mommy moment. Its a case of working mothers vs stay at home moms. Tuesday, I called in sick. I wasnt sick per se but had an infected eye. Had to visit the doctor. Suj had a cough. Had to take him to the doctor. Anyways, we wake up and since I was not rushing off to anywhere (read work), I was all set to brush Suj's teeth. He was so excited. "You are going to brush my teeth". "Wow". "You are going to mix my milk for me". "Wow". "You are going to give me a bath"."Wow". "I love you , mom" You are awesome. It was amazing. Is that all it takes to make my kid happy? I went and picked him up from school. We come home. Eat. Hug each other and snooze. What other way is there? We have rules in our house. Wanna sleep next to mom? Then hug and sleep. Luckily my baby is baby enough that he loves to hug. I am not sure how long that will last. Anyways, we wake up. Go and play on the swings. Play with mud and just run around like two children completely free. I am loving every moment. he is loving every moment.
I am having such a great day. I mean, I have this lovely child. He is a happy child who is happier one Tuesday in June because his mom is around. Doesnt that put things in perspective? Why do I leave this angel of mine at home, at day care and spend my day sitting in front of a laptop, gossiping in the coffee corner about how unfair my job is, cribbing about my manager or just discussing office politics when I can be having everyday like Tuesday and my son can be as happy every day as he was on Tuesday.
I am going to quit, I tell Sudarshan when he gets home. I had such a satisfying day. I feel so alive. I feel so great. I want to feel like this everyday. He just smiles and assures me that I am not made like that.After a week I will hate it. I will miss the social interactions, miss going to work. Hmmm...will I? Well, then, I postpone taking an early retirement. When we have another child, I say. may be then. He smiles again. We'll see then. You will still be happier going back to work, he says.
Who knows? Is it just a case of the grass being greener on the other side? I am not sure. But one day, I will find out. I hope thats not too far in the future. I dont want to spend my child's entire childhood finding out. Thats the sad part.
I am not sure if I consider myself ambitious. I know I like to be employed. Not sure why. Sorry to digress but I have always wondered....what is it about being employed. Do I love to work? Not sure. Do I love my job? Not sure. What does being employed mean to me? Is it a self empowerment? The power of earning money? I am not sure. I have never been deprived and if I stop working I dont think I will be deprived. Is it self confidence? Is it a snob appeal? I keep thinking on and off if I want to work. I am never sure. Many a times, I get tempted to call it quits. But I never do. I never know why. May be I need to be older, wiser, mature to actually analyse my feelings, sort out what being employed means to me and then make a decision. May be its only the case of grass being greener on the other side...
Which brings me back to my most recent mommy moment. Its a case of working mothers vs stay at home moms. Tuesday, I called in sick. I wasnt sick per se but had an infected eye. Had to visit the doctor. Suj had a cough. Had to take him to the doctor. Anyways, we wake up and since I was not rushing off to anywhere (read work), I was all set to brush Suj's teeth. He was so excited. "You are going to brush my teeth". "Wow". "You are going to mix my milk for me". "Wow". "You are going to give me a bath"."Wow". "I love you , mom" You are awesome. It was amazing. Is that all it takes to make my kid happy? I went and picked him up from school. We come home. Eat. Hug each other and snooze. What other way is there? We have rules in our house. Wanna sleep next to mom? Then hug and sleep. Luckily my baby is baby enough that he loves to hug. I am not sure how long that will last. Anyways, we wake up. Go and play on the swings. Play with mud and just run around like two children completely free. I am loving every moment. he is loving every moment.
I am having such a great day. I mean, I have this lovely child. He is a happy child who is happier one Tuesday in June because his mom is around. Doesnt that put things in perspective? Why do I leave this angel of mine at home, at day care and spend my day sitting in front of a laptop, gossiping in the coffee corner about how unfair my job is, cribbing about my manager or just discussing office politics when I can be having everyday like Tuesday and my son can be as happy every day as he was on Tuesday.
I am going to quit, I tell Sudarshan when he gets home. I had such a satisfying day. I feel so alive. I feel so great. I want to feel like this everyday. He just smiles and assures me that I am not made like that.After a week I will hate it. I will miss the social interactions, miss going to work. Hmmm...will I? Well, then, I postpone taking an early retirement. When we have another child, I say. may be then. He smiles again. We'll see then. You will still be happier going back to work, he says.
Who knows? Is it just a case of the grass being greener on the other side? I am not sure. But one day, I will find out. I hope thats not too far in the future. I dont want to spend my child's entire childhood finding out. Thats the sad part.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
The Slam Book Tag
The Slam book Tag!!!
Shantanu is right. It is indeed good to be a kid sometimes. I have slam book memories. Not all very good ones. But answering questions like these sounds like fun.
1. What is your middle name?
Dont have a middle name.
2. How big is your bed?
Its a Queen bed. Regrettingthat purchase. Should have bought a super king bed. Sujay has been creeping into bed with us at all times and all of a sudden I feel something poking my eye. I almost shout at sudarshan and then realize that its my little baby. So have a queen bed but wish it was a super king bed.
3.What are you listening to right now?
Rediscovered "Killing me Softly" by Fugees. And of course November Rain (I made it my ring tone as I never tire listening to it)
4. What was the last thing you ate?
Idli. And coffee
5. Last person you hugged?
Sujay. Luckily he is at a age when Mommy is still allowed to hug him.
6. How is the weather right now?
Awesome. Hate sitting in my cube. wish I was doing a nice long run. May be Nandi
7. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Annoying salesperson from HSBC Bank selling me a gold card
8. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
His face
9. Favorite type of Food?
Mexican
10 . Have you ever cried over a love lost?
Of course. Whats the point of having a lost love without the drama of tears. A la Devdas
11. Last Movie you watched? Khoya Khoya Chand.
12. Do you have any piercings?
Yes
13. Favorite Movie?
Pride and Prejudice (the BBC version), Sound of Music, Wedding Date (only so that I can lust after Dermot Mulroney. The Story is bekar)
14. What were you doing before filling this out?
Attempting to finish something before my 2 pm meeting. but what teh hell. Isnt this more important?
15. Have you ever loved someone?Yes
16. Who would you like to see right now?
Dermot Mulroney. I can see him anytime.
17. What color are your bedroom walls?
Cream, My land lord is so boring. But if it was my own place it would be yellow or may be red and gold.
18. Have you ever fired a gun?No
19. Do you like to travel by plane? Sure.It saves time. Its like when someone asked me if I dont mind C-sections. Of course I dont. It saves time.
20. Right-handed or Left-handed?Right-handed.
21. If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
Lake Elizabeth, Fremont or Market Street, San Francisco or back in my living room in Milpitas.
22. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?Yes- Something on Pogo or CeeBees. Last one I watched was NumberJacks
23. What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?
Sujay's picture.
24. Favorite hangout:
Airlines after a nice run @ Cubbon or mom's house.
25. 3 things you can't live without?
My thoughts, my freedom and my men ( Sudarshan and Sujay)
26. Favorite songs?
Always by Bon Jovi, November Rain GNR, Keith Urban
27. What are you afraid of?
Not being able to run!
28. What are your nicknames?
Meghs, Meghu, Megh, Mango (when Suj couldnt say Meghu)
29. Stuck on a deserted island, and can only bring one thing?
A good fat book-Gone With the Wind
30. First thing you'll save in a fire?
Sujay
31. What is your favorite color? Blue
32. What are the things you always bring with you? My phone
33. What did you want to be when you were a kid?A teacher
34. What do you usually do when the alarm turns on? Decide if I am running or going on the Elliptical
35. What do you think about before you go to bed?
Better Sleep as I a have to wake up and run
Shantanu is right. It is indeed good to be a kid sometimes. I have slam book memories. Not all very good ones. But answering questions like these sounds like fun.
1. What is your middle name?
Dont have a middle name.
2. How big is your bed?
Its a Queen bed. Regrettingthat purchase. Should have bought a super king bed. Sujay has been creeping into bed with us at all times and all of a sudden I feel something poking my eye. I almost shout at sudarshan and then realize that its my little baby. So have a queen bed but wish it was a super king bed.
3.What are you listening to right now?
Rediscovered "Killing me Softly" by Fugees. And of course November Rain (I made it my ring tone as I never tire listening to it)
4. What was the last thing you ate?
Idli. And coffee
5. Last person you hugged?
Sujay. Luckily he is at a age when Mommy is still allowed to hug him.
6. How is the weather right now?
Awesome. Hate sitting in my cube. wish I was doing a nice long run. May be Nandi
7. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Annoying salesperson from HSBC Bank selling me a gold card
8. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
His face
9. Favorite type of Food?
Mexican
10 . Have you ever cried over a love lost?
Of course. Whats the point of having a lost love without the drama of tears. A la Devdas
11. Last Movie you watched? Khoya Khoya Chand.
12. Do you have any piercings?
Yes
13. Favorite Movie?
Pride and Prejudice (the BBC version), Sound of Music, Wedding Date (only so that I can lust after Dermot Mulroney. The Story is bekar)
14. What were you doing before filling this out?
Attempting to finish something before my 2 pm meeting. but what teh hell. Isnt this more important?
15. Have you ever loved someone?Yes
16. Who would you like to see right now?
Dermot Mulroney. I can see him anytime.
17. What color are your bedroom walls?
Cream, My land lord is so boring. But if it was my own place it would be yellow or may be red and gold.
18. Have you ever fired a gun?No
19. Do you like to travel by plane? Sure.It saves time. Its like when someone asked me if I dont mind C-sections. Of course I dont. It saves time.
20. Right-handed or Left-handed?Right-handed.
21. If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
Lake Elizabeth, Fremont or Market Street, San Francisco or back in my living room in Milpitas.
22. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?Yes- Something on Pogo or CeeBees. Last one I watched was NumberJacks
23. What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?
Sujay's picture.
24. Favorite hangout:
Airlines after a nice run @ Cubbon or mom's house.
25. 3 things you can't live without?
My thoughts, my freedom and my men ( Sudarshan and Sujay)
26. Favorite songs?
Always by Bon Jovi, November Rain GNR, Keith Urban
27. What are you afraid of?
Not being able to run!
28. What are your nicknames?
Meghs, Meghu, Megh, Mango (when Suj couldnt say Meghu)
29. Stuck on a deserted island, and can only bring one thing?
A good fat book-Gone With the Wind
30. First thing you'll save in a fire?
Sujay
31. What is your favorite color? Blue
32. What are the things you always bring with you? My phone
33. What did you want to be when you were a kid?A teacher
34. What do you usually do when the alarm turns on? Decide if I am running or going on the Elliptical
35. What do you think about before you go to bed?
Better Sleep as I a have to wake up and run
Monday, June 9, 2008
what is a blog?
I have been thinking. What is a blog? Is it my own personal page on the world wide web where I can rant and rave, crib and bitch? Is it a personal space? Should I be able to write well if I want to write a blog? Can I be political? Can I actually spill out my guts? What if I do and someone I know reads something that I dont want read? then does that mean I shouldnt have blogged about it? Hmmm....but blogging seems to be an addiction. I want to blog about every feeling I have. Blog about everyone I love. And of course blog aout every one I hate. It seems to be an awesome outlet to my emotions. A place where I can talk what ever I want without caring a F***who reads it. Although I know for a fact that there are some people who will read it. Infact, I always tell a few people when I have a new blog on. I want them to read it. But will I offend someone? Should I bother? Should I be totally non-challant and not care about who I offend?
Went to Wikipedia and tried to get the definition of blog. "A blog (an abridgment of the term web log) is a website, usually maintained by an individual, with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video." Ok. So, the individual is me. I do make regular entries. Definitely regular since I am getting addicted to blogging. Commentry-this qualifies, I guess. Description of events- yes, I do that. Well, what do you know. I have a blog. Next step: I googled "blogger". Wikepedia defines blogger as a person who blogs. Well, again. what do you know. I am a blogger. Yipee.
Its taken me really long to start blogging. I had thought about it on and off. Some how never brought myself to do it. Many of my friends blog. I have read all their blogs. And their blogs are all so good. All famous people blog. Everyone blogs. I started feeling insecure. Do I write ok? Will anyone be interstested in reading my blog? All the demons inside my head started questioning my intent on writing blogs. Its not like I want to write about some great achievement. Nor do I meet famous people I want to blog about. Stop it. Stop it. I told all these demons who were putting me down. I started blogging. A huge step. Who cares who reads my blog. I am writing only for myself. I am writing to vent my feelings. I am blogging because I can say what ever I want and if people get offended well, I dont care a *&*&. If people like it, thank you is all I have to say. But I must say, I love it. I am addicted. If I have to stand in front of a fellow bloggers (all addicts, read BA: Bloggers annonymous, and say, I am MS and I am a blogger, well, I will.
Thank you.
Went to Wikipedia and tried to get the definition of blog. "A blog (an abridgment of the term web log) is a website, usually maintained by an individual, with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video." Ok. So, the individual is me. I do make regular entries. Definitely regular since I am getting addicted to blogging. Commentry-this qualifies, I guess. Description of events- yes, I do that. Well, what do you know. I have a blog. Next step: I googled "blogger". Wikepedia defines blogger as a person who blogs. Well, again. what do you know. I am a blogger. Yipee.
Its taken me really long to start blogging. I had thought about it on and off. Some how never brought myself to do it. Many of my friends blog. I have read all their blogs. And their blogs are all so good. All famous people blog. Everyone blogs. I started feeling insecure. Do I write ok? Will anyone be interstested in reading my blog? All the demons inside my head started questioning my intent on writing blogs. Its not like I want to write about some great achievement. Nor do I meet famous people I want to blog about. Stop it. Stop it. I told all these demons who were putting me down. I started blogging. A huge step. Who cares who reads my blog. I am writing only for myself. I am writing to vent my feelings. I am blogging because I can say what ever I want and if people get offended well, I dont care a *&*&. If people like it, thank you is all I have to say. But I must say, I love it. I am addicted. If I have to stand in front of a fellow bloggers (all addicts, read BA: Bloggers annonymous, and say, I am MS and I am a blogger, well, I will.
Thank you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)